Everything They Say I Am, I'm Not
by Little Dragon-kun
Summary: He was selfish. He was a fake, a liar. He was the opposite of everything they believed him to be.


_**A/N: I've been wanting to do a one-shot of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle for Fai for quite a while, but I had no idea what to call it. Finally, I got this title from an Arctic Monkeys album. **_

_**Song inspired by: Whatever the Fuck People Say I am, I'm Not**_

_**Artist: Arctic Monkeys**_

_**I hope you all like it. Enjoy~!**_

A nice person. A cheerful person. They all said he was these things. Except he wasn't.

Fai was not a kind person. He was selfish. He was a fake, a liar. He was the opposite of everything they believed him to be.

Except for Kurogane. The ninja had noticed that his smile was a fraud, that he was hiding something from them, that he was keeping them at arm's length. Fai had revealed too much to Kurogane in the land of Rekort, when they tried to find Sakura's feather in that world.

Oh Syaoran and Sakura. If only they knew the truth. Would they still see him as a role model? Would they still talk to him when they needed guidance in their lives?

No, they would probably not. Especially since this Syaoran was not the one who traveled with them, the one who never noticed the fake air of happiness that Fai put up. This one was much more mature, and he was very sharp.

That's probably why he confided in the ninja when it came to advice.

Sakura seemed to have noticed Fai was hiding something from them. She never pried, unlike Kurogane, who was very certain about him being a liar. Fai's memory flew back to when they were in Tokyo, before he had lost his left eye.

_***Flashback to Tokyo***_

"_Why did you use your magic?" Kurogane asked. Fai stood still, smiling._

"_In the land of Koriyo, when we were about to die, you didn't use magic. You told me then that you have run to other worlds, otherwise the person sleeping beneath the water in your land would wake up and probably go after you," Kurogane continued. _

"_Kurorin, your memory sure is sharp. That's Daddy for you~!" Fai clapped, hoping to distract the ninja from this conversation. _

"_Play along, you're leaving me hanging~," Fai said. Kurogane wasn't fazed._

"_Whether you're being pursued because you're a criminal or not, it makes no difference to me." Fai smirked._

"_That sounds like you Kurorin," he said. _

"_Then why did you use your magic? Back then, if you hadn't done something, we would've been captured, or even killed. You might wear that superficial smile, but you keep yourself at arm's length, never having anything to do with them. But now, you're worried about the kid's fever, and about the princess learning about the misery of this land. And then there was that whistling," Kurogane said, his crimson eyes narrowing._

"_I already told you, I can't die," Fai pointed out._

"_You mean you can't die for yourself. But if it was for someone else, then it's an entirely different question. You involved yourself with them when you used your magic," Kurogane motioned to Syaoran and Sakura, who were sleeping. Fai stood there, unable to argue with that. Saving him from continuing the conversation were the people who brought them to the building they were residing in._

"_May we have a word?" Kusanagi asked. Fai whirled around, the fake smile on his face again._

"_Sure~. You can speak with Kurotan," he sang. Kurogane grabbed his arm._

"_Don't think this is the end of this," he muttered. Fai tried to twist his arm free from the ninja's steel grip. "You're hurting me."_

"_I told you, it doesn't matter to me," Kurogane said. _

"_Mmhm, so don't worry about me," Fai returned. Kurogane tightened his grip for a moment._

"_Your _past _doesn't matter, so hurry up and resign yourself to who you are now." Kurogane left, and Fai collapsed against the wall, holding his face. He started to laugh sadly._

"_That's too difficult for me to do," he murmured._

_***End of Flashback***_

Little did Kurogane know that he was right. He was accurate about everything Fai did on the journey do far. But there was one thing Fai was positive they didn't know: his true name.

His true name was Yuui. Back on Celes, when he was still young, Fai was the name of his twin brother. Twins were always considered bad luck on Celes, and the people had them imprisoned. To save his selfish life, Fai jumped from the tower in which he was incarcerated, sparing Yuui. Yuui had felt guilty about his brother's death ever since.

So he took his name. Yuui became the past he never wanted to remember. He couldn't let them know. What would Syaoran and Sakura say when he told them he was too selfish to save his own brother? What would the ninja do? Probably kill him.

'Fai' never let them know of the curse he was under either. He would kill anyone who had stronger magic than him. King Ashura had tried to stop it by putting a seal on his magic, but now since he was missing an eye, it didn't matter.

One more feather, and the curse would activate. One more feather, and Sakura would have more magical power than him. One more, and he would be not only a liar and a fraud, but he would be a murderer. And then they would reach Celes.

'Fai' knew the truth about the first feather Sakura regained. It wasn't stuck to Syaoran's cloak at all. 'Fai' had brought it along with him to the Dimensional Witch. He also knew that the Syaoran and Sakura they traveled with were not real humans. They were clones. Fake, artificial lives created for Fei Wang Reed's wish. He had heard all of it before the journey even started, before he had made Ashura sleep.

"Mage, you need to stop this fake happy act of yours now," Kurogane growled. 'Fai' jumped and smiled.

"Kurorin, what do you mean?" he asked innocently, knowing very well what he meant. Kurogane snorted and walked away, not bothering to try and get him to reveal even more. Fai sat down alone, and he felt pity for Syaoran and Sakura.

"Everything they say I am, I'm not."

_**A/N: Sooooo was it good, or really terrible? I tried to get the moments from Tokyo correct, and this takes place during the Infinity arc, just before Celes. I should've mentioned the spoilers for this… anyway, review please?**_

_**Ja**_


End file.
